I should have told you all this in Germany but my family did not know and some of my fellow artists lovingly suggested to not open up my personal life publicly. It was not the time then but it is now.

I was sexually raped at the hands of someone I loved dearly for nearly 4 years of my childhood. #metoo

I was raped again as an 11 year old child by a woman who was 19 years of age #metoo

I was raped as an adult twice, one by the female owner of my agency who I woke up to having sex with me in her guest bedroom, telling me to be quiet and just enjoy it.

When I finally said something to her,

I was dropped by the agency. #metoo

Then by a 60 year old male, who I looked up to as a mentor. He told me I reminded him of his dead son and he was the 1st person to hear about my grandfather, I allowed him to get close to me. #metoo

I am NOT A VICTIM. I’m a fucking SURVIVOR. (I have young nieces, nephews and students across the world. My apologies for using foul language. I know this has been difficult to read. You look up to me as a strong male role model but #IAMYOU. My childhood was ripped from my soul at 4 years of age. For all of you who know me, questioned if I was gay or straight or never understood why I am yet to marry or have children of my own, hopefully this sheds some light on who I am. #IAMYOU

Despite the 12 to 22 veterans a day taking their own life. Despite the amount of children and adults who take their life everyday who have suffered at the hands of a child molester. Despite the non-stop constant online bullying that I’ve endured being part of a fandom that so easily hashtags #SPNFamily ???

I AM STILL HERE. And you will physically have to take my life with your own two hands before I ever give up.